Author: Mollie Bloudoff-Indelicato

Grief is a tricky thing, especially the grief of losing a child. When my loss was nearing its one-year anniversary, and I was still heartbroken, still processing the grief, I knew I needed more help than a weekly therapy session. So I looked into grief retreats.

I wanted to attend the RTZ Hope Retreat, but I didn’t feel comfortable going because of their lack of understanding regarding service dogs. As someone with a disability, I’m not required to message venues about bringing a service dog. But I always like to give people a head’s up. Ninety-nine percent of the time it’s fine, but if there’s a 1% chance that someone won’t welcome my dog, I don’t want to be there.

To their credit, employees wrote to me and told me that having my dog would be OK. But then they wrote to me saying, “service animals do have certification, which emotional support animals do not.” The retreat told me that I would not be able to book specific sleeping accommodations because of my dog.

I explained, “Most people don’t know this, but you’re not required to have a certification to have a service dog. And you’re also not allowed to be segregated to specific areas because of the animal.”

And, “(The information) is available on the federal government’s website and on CA’s info page. Hopefully, once they read the laws they’ll be a bit more welcoming. =)”

Unfortunately, the employees I corresponded with did not admit to their error. I felt like if they didn’t understand the basic laws surrounding service dogs and weren’t willing to look into it then there would be other problems if I went on the retreat. And I didn’t think I could handle trying to deal with those problems while also trying to process my grief.

I wanted to post this review so hopefully the next person with a disability won’t have the same issue I did.

Here is a link to the federal rules regarding service animals:

Here’s another link regarding the federal rules:

Photo Feature Credit: Priscilla Du Preez

• Say “not spicy” for everything, even if it’s not a traditionally spicy food.
• People will pretend to understand you in order to be polite. This is true for restaurant staff as well. Make triple sure they actually do get it!
• Google maps is unreliable. A paper map from the hotel will suffice.
• Walk across the street and don’t stop. When you want to cross the street, you have to go confidently—and you can’t stop. That’s because there are a lot of cars and mopeds and, while one vehicle may swerve to avoid you, the vehicle directly behind it won’t see you.
• Don’t smile at vendors or respond to their shouts. A hotel concierge told us that smiling or responding in any way would signal that we wanted to buy something, and that it was more polite to just ignore the attention.
• There’s no such thing as a one-way street. Look both ways… always.
• Hire the hotel driver because they have an incentive to follow (some of) the traffic laws. When you’re getting to your hotel from the airport, it’s smart to hire the hotel’s driver. If you get into a taxi, all bets are off.
• Do not rent a bike or a moped. Unless you’re an absolute pro and “one” with the bike, it’s not a good idea to learn how to ride bikes/motorcycles here. There are just way too many accidents waiting to happen.
• Wear a mask outside, too. The air pollution can be many dozens of times greater than what the WHO suggests is OK. That means even walking outdoors is bad for your health. Keep that mask on!

Photo credit: Steffen B

What you need to take care of these aquatic cuties!

• 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: I use this heater for my 40 gallon aquarium “EHEIM Jager Aquarium Thermostat Heater 100W.” Smaller aquariums can use smaller wattage heaters. Note that ALL heaters you get online are NOT accurate. It’s nice to get a cheapo thermometer to check. My heater is set at 83F and my tank is 76F. Annoying but not a big deal. The reason you need a heater is because it gets too cold here during the winter for the snails to live happy lives! In the summer, you technically don’t need a heater BUT, when the water is warmer, the snails are more active and more fun to watch! Optimal temps are between 68-84F.
• 𝟏𝟎 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐦: Yes, you can go smaller. This is just the easiest size to take care of. Why? You don’t have to clean it as often! Always buy a NEW tank! Tanks that have been used can contain bad bacteria and the eggs of assassin snails. Assassin snails will eat mystery snails(!!) and they’re REALLY hard to get rid of! I like the brand Aqueon from Petsmart. It’s cheap and hardy.
• 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫: It’s always better to get a filter that’s rated for a tank that’s bigger than yours. Again, bigger filter, you clean less! My tank is ~45gal and my filter is rated for 50-75 gallons. Iike this brand “MarineLand Penguin 350 Power Filter 50 – 75 Gallon Aquarium, 350 GPH “
• 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: This one you can’t substitute or do without. The water in our area will 100% kill baby snails. BUT, if you add a few drops of this “Fluval Water Conditioner for Aquariums” then all the bad stuff is neutralized and your snails are safe. Don’t skip this step ever! I have, and it’s bad news!
• 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝: You can technically make your own snail food or try out different veggies to see what they like. I don’t have time for all that so I just buy calcium chips and snail cookies from https://www.crayfishempire.com/ A bag of each will last you more than a year! You also need to buy some frozen mysis shrimp from petsmart. Snails need some meat in their diet, especially as they’re growing! One packet will last you about two months or longer.
• 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: I have 25 snails so I clean my tank once a week. It takes me about 15 minutes and I use the water to water my houseplants. (It makes them VERY happy!) You can get something super simple like $13 “Luigi’s Aquarium/Fish Tank Siphon and Gravel Cleaner” to clean your tank. I splurged and got “AQQA Aquarium Gravel Cleaner Siphon Kit,6 in 1 Electric Automatic Removable Vacuum Water Changer” It’s $35, but it makes cleaning the tank SO fast and EASY. If you don’t mind spending an extra 20 bucks, I’d recommend it!
• 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡: You will need the API Freshwater Master Test Kit. It will last you years. I’m still using my original one! Don’t buy anything else… they’re useless and won’t give you accurate results. Once the tank is established, I like to check my water once a week. Luckily, the snails have a habit of telling you when something is wrong… you’ll see them lined up at the top of the waterline! Then you know you need to check and see what’s up.

SIDE NOTE: If you want to keep plants, you’ll need to buy an aquarium light. Do NOT keep the light on at all times. Fish and snails need to sleep. It’s very bad to keep them in the light all the time. I recommend light for no more than 8 hours a day or you’ll get algae growth.

Photo Credit: theaquariumkeeper2

Decorating your tank!

Decorating your tank is SO much fun… especially if kids get involved. You can go wild with decorating! Decorations are also important because it gives your good bacteria a place to grow when you’re setting up your tank. Just keep these tips in mind:

–No metal. Metal will start to degrade and can release harmful chemicals into the water. Baby snails and fish are especially sensitive to changes, and this could kill them.

–No Spongebob-themed stuff. I know! It’s a bummer. But lots of aquarium forums are reporting that there are a lot of Spongebob decorations made of toxic materials… and those toxins have wiped out entire aquariums causing heartache and the loss of hundreds (if not thousands!) of dollars.

–No random plants. Plants can carry bad bacteria and assassin snails. I like purchasing aquatic plants from an online store called Wet Plants. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, but I’ve purchased several times and never had a problem! They also have great customer service. If a plant dies really quickly, they’ll send you a new one. You can use fishing string or crazy glue to tie/glue plants to rocks to hold them in place. If you’re using glue, do NOT glue the stem. Only glue a single root. Plants are great because they act like a second filter and make your tank healthier!

–No new snails or fish without quarantine. This isn’t a decoration recommendation, but it’s still important. I’ve had my snails long enough that I know they don’t have a fungus or parasite problem. If you get new snails/fish from a different source, make sure to quarantine them in a separate tank to prevent the spread of disease!

–Substrate. You don’t need rocks or pebbles on the bottom of your tank! It’s actually easier to clean your tank without it. Of course, if you want to, you can add it! I would recommend something that’s not too sharp so it doesn’t hurt the snails.

–Plastic decoration: You can use toys as decorations! Just crazy glue rocks to the bottom to keep them from floating. Make sure the toys are relatively new. (Nothing from when we were growing up!) Newer toys that are made for kids (or, better yet, infants) are less likely to contain any chemicals that might leech into the water and hurt the snails. (No paper, cloth, stuff that will get icky)

–Wood decorations: Lots of people love using drift wood in their tanks! But don’t just use wood you got outside. Buy wood that’s specifically made for aquariums. If you REALLY want to use your own wood, Google how to clean it properly. I believe it needs to be boiled for a long while.

–Air stone: If there’s enough surface agitation, it’s not necessary to keep your snails and fish healthy, but it IS fun to watch the snails float and play in the bubbles!

Photo credit: JadonBarnes